Jammy Taylor

its not me, its you…


Written  – 07/03/2013 – maybe its just me


I know its hard to believe but I have made the odd curious decision in my life, putting my foot in my cycle wheels spokes whilst going along to see if it made the same whizzing sound as if you put a piece of plastic in there, that time in Jamaica at Hedonism when I thought the couple were just being friendly! And indeed following my ex girlfriend on Instragram; why do it! What was I thinking? I don’t want to see her frolicking in the waves on some beach somewhere with some other bloke, but yet I was still compelled to look! (where’s a shark when you need one)

But alas normally I’m pretty switched on.

It’s already March, can you believe it, this year is going so fast. I’m actually writing this to you all now from up in the air on my way back to London from Lanzarote, been out here for a shoot, before heading back home to New York next week.

I’m the youngest one on the plane by about 40 years, wedged in the middle of a row of 3, there is no luxury today but I have made two lovely new friends, Janet and Mazie who have been helping me with my spelling, so you know, every cloud and all!

I’ve been out in New York city for 9 months now and loving every second of it, I’ve bought myself one of those big Canadian Goose coats which seem to be almost school uniform at my acting school and now I can laugh in the face of the snow and -10 weather we’ve been having.

I love the pace of living in New York, it’s non stop, there is always something going on and you feel like you missing out if you have a night off.  It has a real energy about and a can do attitude, I’ve completely fallen in love with the place and my American accent is coming on a  treat.

Still single though! Although I have been seeing a bit of that Hannah girl. Turns out she preferred Jake Gyllenhaal after all!

We must have been out for dinner now like 10 times; I hang on her every word, she’s funny, absolutely drop dead gorgeous, smart, her Father is a chef and it’s subsequently rubbed off on her and she’s got me feeling bad now when I don’t try things other then steak and chicken or don’t eat my vegetables.

She made me have an Oyster the other day,  I know ! I would rather eat my own arm than try one of those ever again (i turned green!) but I did it to try and win some brownie points.  Although too no avail.

I do cute things like take her little gifts, her favourite cup cake shop on a Thursday; only on a Thursday does these special pumpkin ones, not my taste, but then again she likes oysters. So I took her some of those, battling through the cold and snow to deliver them. But nope still nothing.

On a side note for all the single guys out there reading this now, get your arse down to your local cupcake shops, it’s full of hot girls, they all just seem to congregate there, of course not that I was looking as I only have eyes for Hannah. But ….

Anyway I just don’t know where I’m going wrong, it’s been a while now, 4 months to be exact, not that im counting and we still haven’t even kissed.

Normally I would give up after say, a week and write it off, but there is something different with this one, she’s as mysterious as the women from the Scottish widows adverts, no better than that; a Unicorn!

We go for dinner and she flirts with me all evening, we have great chat and then after our chocolate may contain nuts fondant (it doesn’t) as we get our coats and head for the door and then NOTHING! It’s as if it’s the first date again, it’s the same routine, we look at each other, I open the door, she gives me that smile, I feel all gentlemanly, she walks through the door, outside the restaurant we stare at each other for a bit, she reaches over kisses me on the cheek and says, “Good Night James”, “Yeah Goodnight Hannah” and she disappears leaving me standing there looking on into the darkness; it’s like bloody groundhog day!

Once I tried holding her hand when we were in the cinema, that went down like a lead balloon.

Even with all my travelling, I try and keep in touch with her, calling on my telephone from all remote corners of the earth I get sent too, sending her cute little pictures of monkeys and donkeys and me pulling funny faces but still like water off a ducks back, has no effect.

I just cant work her out, she told me today over a text message; that I need to more aloof and we’re in no rush!

More aloof?  What does that even mean…. NO RUSH, it’s been 4 months and I haven’t even kissed you!!

I’m a man, I don’t understand complex concepts like that!

If I like someone, I show them I like them…. Normally I kiss on the first date so then I know if I want to see them again.

For me being more aloof, is me not being interested and when I get to that point there is no way back… 

And just don’t know what to do… Janet and Mazie are baffled too, it wasn’t like that in there day they assure me.

Maybe it’s me, I mean I know I’m quite excitable like a bit fluffy doggy bounding up to you, after you come through the door ready for walkies, with one of those squeaky toys, but that’s only because I’m pleased to see you!

Or maybe its just you…..