“Another One Bites the Dust”
You know the days where everything goes wrong and it seems as though the whole world starts to crumble in, and it can be for an array of different reasons:
You have a bad day at work; get told off by the boss, then you go home to find a picture of you car with a speeding ticket attached to it.
Or you have a row with a parent and exchange words that you don’t really mean; go for a walk to calm down and get splashed by a lorry driving through a puddle, then a bird shits on you.
Or as what’s happened to me today, you find out that the girl you have just split up with has found a new boyfriend.
Now, I’ve been roaming the earth for the last 20 odd years, and for the last 5, I have been dating. I couldn’t really get a girlfriend at school as I wasn’t in the, “in” crowd and none of the girls really looked at me, although I wouldn’t go as far to say I was a geek either as I wasn’t, I just didn’t fit in. At the age of 16 I got me first real girlfriend, who I can honestly say I loved dearly.
We met in the strangest of situations; it was at a go-kart track. Which isn’t together all that strange. Infact let me give you a bit of background there or it doesn’t quite make sense.
When I was much younger, I used to do a bit of karting and used to race in the British Championships, infact against a boy you alI know quite well now called, “Lewis Hamilton”, although he was much much better, I was alright; not the best but did have a real flare at starting at the back of the grid and going through the field like a hot knife through butter, like Sterling Moss on speed, but just a younger fatter version; although once I got to the front and was leading and everything was going to plan, I just could never keep my head and would always end up head first into a tyre barrier, until one day, I ended up trying to go around a corner, actually on my head, carrying the kart on my back,
“Anything to get a faster line me”. Needles to say my Dad wasn’t too impressed and I didn’t race again professionally again after that.
Anyway, a few years later, in the school holidays to keep me out of mischief, I would compete in the junior championships at my local indoor circuit. Now, here, I was in my element, and not to brag, but I did pretty much win every race. After all I was by now close to 17 and I was racing 12 year olds!! So I did have a pretty unfair advantage, but winnings winning in my book.
Anyway, one week I made friends with this family and they were asking me if I would give their son some pointers, which I gladly did, and sure enough the results started to show.
The following week the family again were there, but this time they had brought the daughter along too. She was gorgeous; blonde hair, blue eyes, she really was beautiful.
Anyway as I had made friends with the family: I sat with them and spent the whole day talking to her and we got on really well.
It was the last race of the day, I was leading and her brother was in second and on the last corner before the straight: (where she was watching) I pulled over to let him win his first ever race.
That night she came round to my house, and before long; we were boyfriend and girlfriend.
We stayed together for about 9 months, and we had some really good times together, although towards the end we just drifted apart. We didn’t speak for about a year after, as she did break my heart, (she dumped me), although later we patched things up and too this day, we are still really good friends and she often calls me up and asks me what she should do with her love life, as she has met someone new, etc, although I’m the one that really needs help with that.
Since then I have not really had a girlfriend, I mean I have seen lots of girls, for all different lengths of time; ranging from 1 night to a few months but never pushed the boat out and actually committed.
Some I quite liked but I would always find something wrong with them, something that I wouldn’t entirely like, although maybe my bar was up to high or maybe I was just scared to open up after already having my heart broken or maybe I just liked playing the field although; I would always get caught out when I did this as I would always pick the wrong girl, that new someone; who new someone; that new someone else you were seeing. Not that I made a habit of this but you know what its like when your young.
Which brings me back to today, all that aside, a few months back I actually did meet a girl who I really did quite like and it got to that point again after a period of time where it’s sort of into that zone; you know the one where you are together but not if you know what I mean; not that I really know what I mean.
Anyway she was edging me to commit and I would always resist until recently she got fed up with this yoyo situation and finished with me. Obviously now as I couldn’t have her anymore I really wanted her and was happy to re-think about the whole being an item thing; but by this time; a few weeks on, it was too late; she now had a new boyfriend.
I went for a drink with her tonight, on the proviso that we are just friends nothing more. (Her terms; not mine) although it ripped my heart out, not being able to cuddle or kiss her and even her attitude towards me had changed.
I dropped her off after back at her flat and said goodnight, probably for the last time as I now realised it was over, “I hope it all works out for you both”; I said through gritted teeth, knowing that I had just lost something, very special and deep down knowing that if I had of tried at bit harder and been a bit more considerate, or just realised what I had; when I had it, it wouldn’t have of come down to this; well at least not until the divorce anyway.
(Out in front again, locked up the brakes and off into the tyres )
Oh well, One day I’ll get it right,