“live from Sao Paulo airport”
It’s been a bit of an exciting week. I’ve been cast away to Brazil to shoot the new Head and Shoulders Commercial. In the end the commercial should look wonderful, but of course…
I actually felt really lucky as Brazil has always been somewhere I always wanted to go, especially Rio, I guess ever since being strapped into my Dad’s old Toyota Supra with a Duran Duran Cd on repeat every time we ever went anywhere.
I’d also heard the women there were to die for and let’s face it; every man loves to discover a Brazilian.
As I finally landed in Rio after that long 12-hour flight, it was only bloody raining, but I thought, “Well hey, at least I’m in Brazil” and so I should; the Hotel was lovely; right on Copacabana Beach, all the crew were amazing and maybe it wouldn’t rain all week, which it didn’t, we had at least 8 hours of sunshine.
As the story unfolded it turned out that whilst I lay in bed after that long and uncomfortable journey, the client back in Geneva had decided that I maybe would look better with shorter hair or even no hair at all.
Now bearing in mind how many times the client at this point had seen me and for that matter every other model in London with all different kinds of hair who went for the casting, this did strike me as a bit of a strange time to change their mind.
Anyway I got the call to ask whether I would be willing to let them cut all my hair off. Obviously I would never be allowed by my agent Eddie to do such a thing, so they did what they had to do and re-cast.
So I was sitting by the pool with my weak shandy; watching all these Brazilian guys getting lined up to cast for my job, fearing the worst that I would be sent home. Now did I mention that the Crew were amazing, well they were, they had been working on a secret plan to get the client back in Geneva to change their minds and keep me in. In the end cunningly coming up with a plan to have my hair pushed back off my face; I looked like a different man, well boy and eventually after a lot of tooing and throwing, they got their way and I was finally reinstated.
The actual shoot went really well, kissing and frolicking in the sun with my silky soft, now dandruff free hair on the top of this downtown rooftop with views of the whole city, indeed Rio was beautiful. Their girl model wasn’t up to much though, was a German and just sat in the corner chain smoking all day whilst on the phone arguing with her boyfriend. Then when she had finished and we could finally resume filming again, I had to kiss her. YUK!
But luckily for me, we did have this, I don’t know, I guess 18 year old local girl working on set, kind of my chaperone to get me in the right places ready to film and also translate for me, so no-one put nuts in my food.
She was incredible. Not too tall, about 5”8’, brunette, cracking figure and seemed to be so sweet. It took me all week to work up the confidence to see if she was single and if she wanted to come out for a drink with me, but finally after we wrapped shooting on the last day I did just that.
Now Eddie had been on and on at me before I left to be careful, you see it may look all nice and fluffy but there was definitely an edge to the place, it was kind of a have and have not kind of town and I was soon to find out the transition between the two was very swift indeed.
So after filming finished yesterday evening, just as the sun was going down, we both snuck off from all the rest of the crew and the stroppy German at the wrap party and made our way across the road onto the beach, you know to have a little romantic stroll and watch the sunset.
I couldn’t actually believe my luck, she was incredible, maybe the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, of course she couldn’t really understand a word I said with the speed I talk at and anyway I was getting a plane out first thing this morning so I don’t think there was really a future but she was nice to look at and I seemed to make her smile.
Anyway, we found this cute little spot by the water just behind this sand dune. She was cuddled up next to me under my arm and we were watching the waves crashing on the shore and these amazing colors in the sky, I just knew she was going to kiss me at any moment, I could feel it but then all of a sudden out of nowhere, this man in these rather tight speedos appeared in front of us, gesturing for the time, looking me up and down.
I knew something didn’t feel right, there was no one else around and the beach now had a really eerie feel to it, I knew something bad was about to happen.
BANG! The next thing I knew, the girl had bolted and this guy was right in my face with a knife to my throat, now with two more friends that had appeared behind him also in these I must say really tight almost indecent speedos. I was almost for a minute distracted but then the grim reality of what was actually happening soon hit home.
I’ve never been so scared in my life, I could feel the blade being pressed again my skin with him looking soullessly into my eyes.
Of course I didn’t argue or even try and fight back, I was petrified. I just gave them everything I had. My phone, money, camera, the bastards even took my shoes.
But luckily one of them signalled that a group of people were approaching along the beach, and the three of them just turned and ran off as fast as they had arrived, leaving me there shaking all on my own.
It could have turned out very different. I was still a quivering mess when I finally made it back to the wrap party and had to explain what I had been doing on the beach in the dark with the 18 year old assistant who by now was nowhere to be seen. In fact the more I think about it; I think she may even have been in on it.
Apparently everyone knows not to go on Copacabana beach after dark!
The crew again were amazing and thankfully were more worried than annoyed. The main woman, who was a Burnley lass, just grabbed hold of me with this warm embrace, sat me down and ordered me a pint of whisky from the bar; which the fumes alone were enough to get me hammered, so that soon settled me down.
But as I sit here now at Sao Paulo Airport about to fly home, I can’t help thinking that maybe Brazil is just not for me.
I mean it’s very beautiful.
But when they said these women where to die for, I didn’t think they actually meant it!